The new Issue of P-D Mag covers Relationships. In this article I wrote about my relationship with my skin tone, and the transition from awkward black boy to #blackboyjoy. I featured different photos of myself to remind myself (and you the reader), how much my black is beautiful.

S/N Its not vain if its true.

My relationship with being black is hard with an easy after taste. Talking about the hard is easier because of the climate to which I live in, in the US. I'm a six foot dark skin male, which is deemed a threat to people for some reason. I own my dark skin now because I now know the beauty in it, but that wasn't always the case. When I was younger I was teased for my skin tone. My dark skin was seen as ugly to other kids growing up. On top of being scrawny with big ears, I was very ill and being on dialysis at a young age did not help with the transition through my awkward phase. Dialysis discolors your skin and makes the awkward phase the hated phase.

Going through this made me not be able to see the potential that was there. I battled with the thought of my skin being a joke because, like me others couldn't see past my skin tone. I never once thought I was ugly or less than until I turned on the news and saw how people like me were treated. And when I say people I mean black males. The black male body is seen as threatening or a commodity for the jail system, and I never thought of myself as either of those things. (Still don't).

Photo cred to Graham Arrick or Gindla Mcbee can't remember which.

I see my skin as a past down trait of beauty from my parents. This skin is all I have and finding the beauty within it, is what gives me my confidence. Being able to go on Twitter and Instagram and see movements like #blackgirlmagic or #blackboyjoy celebrating people like me is a testament to POC seeing the beauty in themselves . Seeing groups like BLM standing up for people who look like me is even better. These times are hard and this current regime will do anything to diminish the hard work people of color have gone through to accept themselves. But what I see is beauty on the covers of magazines, and winners snatching trophies. Ground is being broken and I've never loved being the black male that I am more...

Tell me your stories of struggle with self and let me know if you can Identify. Remember there's always a seat at the table.

Later Dayz,

Shawn